I Think I Was Harassed… Or Maybe Not
Hi everybody! How are you doing today? (You can let me know in the comments). If this is your first time of visiting my blog, you have no idea how glad I am to have you. If this isn’t your first time, I wish I could give you a kiss right now. Lol. Thank you. Enjoy the post and don’t forget to comment afterwards.
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So, I THINK I WAS HARASSED! Maybe I wasn’t but I strongly feel like I was. If you’re on my Facebook, you’ve probably seen a part of this gist. So this is the 100% gist:
On my way to work a couple of days ago, a guy drove past me and I noticed him stop his car a few steps from me. I had also noticed him checking me out as he drove past me and sort of guessed that he stopped because of me. I guessed rightly.
As I got to his car and made an attempt to continue walking, he called from his car and said, “Hello. Excuse me”. Now, somewhere in my head, I heard my mom warning me to be wary of strangers and I almost ignored him. But the part of me that claims to be cooler said “Funke, calm down. Maybe he just needs directions”. So I stopped and faced him.
He asked, “Where are you going? Let me drop you off.” Sorry man, you don’t drop a Yoruba girl who grew up in my society off anywhere, especially when it’s close to Christmas.
I politely replied and I smiled (I wonder why I did but…) and said, “No, thank you. My destination is just around the corner. I’ll be fine.” And I kept walking, forgetting the past behind me.
In another couple seconds, this guy had caught up with me and called out, “Okay, if I can’t drop you off, can I have your number?”
I politely replied again (I’m not sure I smiled this time around), “No, sorry.”. I probably should have added, I have a boyfriend… But no, I didn’t.
I walked on and the guy kept driving after me and stopping when he caught up with me. This happened about three times and I had already begun to feel extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. So what did I! I flagged down a bike and told the bike guy where I was going. It wasn’t far but because I felt uncomfortable and pestered, I had to take a bike.
I heaved a sigh of relief and had calmed down when I heard a car horn behind me. I looked back and saw his car. I don’t even know what happened at this point but I instantly started panicking. I moved to feeling embarrassed to feeling pestered to panic real quick. I wanted to tell the bike man to increase his speed by telling him someone I didn’t know was coming after me but I thought against it.
I brought out my phone from my bag all shaky at this point and tried calling a male colleague who I felt would have been at the office at the time and could come rescue me but he wasn’t picking and on the third try, his phone was off.
Immediately I got down from the bike and paid the biker (I had change thankfully), I raced into my office building, banging on the door before I gained access. For the next couple of minutes, I sat half-expecting him to knock on my office door. Maybe I would have fainted if that had happened.
Now much later after I’d calmed down, I thought of the whole issue and I began to feel like I had been harassed. I termed it harassment because I had been extremely uncomfortable and continuously pestered against my wish. I tried to imagine that he was persistently following me without a car and against my wish.
I posted my experience on Facebook and I had varying reactions. Some were of the opinion that calling that harassment was way too far-fetched. After all, he was only indicating his interest in me. While others did agree that it was harassment.
I don’t know what you think (and I definitely would like to know) but I still do think that that guy harassed me! Even if he was being persistent or whatever, I had told him No twice and he still kept on. Maybe I overreacted by being panicky but I’ve never been one person to remain calm when I suspect someone following me.
What do I call it? An infringement on a lady’s right to free movement? Abi what sef?
Well, so that’s what happened. What do you think?
Emmanuel Faith’s Story || The Improvement Challenge #TIC21
Remember The Improvement Challenge? Last month, I started and ended an Improvement Challenge that lasted for twenty-one days. For more information, click. Emmanuel Faith joined in the Challenge (albeit he didn’t inform me) and he sent me his Improvement Challenge story and how it has helped him. Do enjoy!
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Our mind is like a rubber band, the more it stretches, the more its effectiveness
John Maxwell
I was captivated by my beloved friend’s status which read “21 days improvement challenge”. My adventurous mind pushed me to making some inquisitive enquiry and with few words of persuasion, I was convinced to join this “movement”. Dont mind me, I particularly love puzzles, mental tasks and challenges.
“What do I want to do consistently for 21 days?” I asked myself. Different ideas flowed through my mind as my thoughts tussled to and fro. After ruminating for a while, I decided to write a poem daily and read a chapter from the book of Proverbs.
I missed my quill that spilled God’s will, and mine too. With vivid vivacity, I picked up my pen and made it dance heartily, scribbling my first poem titled “Black and White” which was dedicated to all my friends who are barristers in the making.
Dedicating an hour daily to my newly found quotidian adventure, I wore the clothe of consistency until laziness paid me a visit bringing procrastination along. There was nobody to monitor or check on me (Next time, I suggest we do this with an accountability partner). I lost my zeal and momentum. However, like Thomas Edison said, “You are not a failure until you fail to try again”, I sent laziness packing and continued with a stronger zeal and guess what! In the span of twenty one days, I wrote twelve poems, two essays and three articles, not forgetting the book of proverbs which I read up to chapter twenty four.
I derived maximum benefit from this challenge and I encourage mental tasks like this often.
Emmanuel Faith
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Thank you very much, Emmanuel.
Did you join in the 21-day Improvement Challenge? How did it help you? Please send your stories to: [email protected] Looking forward to hearing from you.
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Lessons Learnt From The Improvement Challenge- Day 21
Some weeks ago, the idea of having a challenge for twenty-one days that would help me improve in certain vital areas of my life crossed my mind. It sounded like a much better idea when I thought of the fact that I could also involve other people who needed to improve themselves also. So, after much deliberation, I embarked on #TIC21 which stands for The Improvement Challenge of 21 days. Today is Day 21 of #TIC21 and I am happy, thankful and fulfilled that I made it to the end. I would be sharing with you how The Improvement Challenge has helped me.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done”- Nelson Mandela
Yes, that’s the first lesson I learnt. Nothing will be possible, or seem possible, until somebody actually does it. About to start the challenge, I had a whole lot of reservations and questions. It was my first project of its kind and I didn’t know how to start. I didn’t know what people would think and if they would want to join in the Challenge. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it till the twenty-first day. I feared that I would start and not be able to finish. Man, I had so much worries! However, I decided that I was going to do it whether it seemed possible or not, whether people joined in or not. I just did it. I knew that even if I failed at it, I would have learnt a lesson or two from it. I also knew that I had nothing to lose if I started it. The success of #TIC21 has made me see that I could do whatever I set out to do. It has inspired me to dream of bigger challenges. It has taught me better ways of doing stuff like this. I am the only limitation that I have. People aren’t my limitation. Money isn’t. I am my own limitation.
How #TIC21 helped me.
I am of the belief that everybody must work hard to improve themselves. Being contented with who you are and where you are is a sign of mediocrity. You might be doing so well at a particular thing but the truly successful people never get satisfied with wherever they are. There is ALWAYS a need to improve. #TIC21 made me constantly remember the need for improvement. There were times when I was tired but I knew I had to keep improving myself. I built the habit of writing, reading everyday and now that I am through with the challenge, I see no reason why I should stop writing everyday or why I should stop reading everyday. I know I am a better writer than I was twenty-one days ago. Albeit I am not where I want to be, I see this as a good start for me.
#TIC21 taught me commitment, not just commitment to improvement, but commitment to people. I knew I couldn’t stop halfway because there were people always asking how the Improvement Challenge was going. There were people who wanted to see me end well and so I just couldn’t stop till I got to the end.
GRATITUDE
I am grateful to everybody who saw the possibility of this when I was not even sure about it; Tolulope Ahmed, Abraham Ologundudu, Samuel Akinlotan, Adebayo Michael Em.A, and those that space will not permit me to mention- Thank you so much. Also, Thanks to those who kept sending in their encouragement messages. To a very wonderful set of people I can not but acknowledge, those who joined in the Challenge. Thank you for seeing this as a worthy cause to join in. Thank you for working everyday to be better. Thank you for making this journey worthwhile. Keep growing. Keep improving. You are your only limitation.
And that’s it, folks! #TIC21 has come to an end. Watch this space for further challenges. *winks*
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#teamOAU Why You Should Be Grateful For The NASU Strike
I could give you reasons why we really shouldn’t be happy about the NASU strike but that would only be me reopening closed wounds (or, almost closed wounds). I know you hate to have to go home as a result of a struggle that has nothing to do with you. I do, too, but then I have just learnt to see the bright side of things even in the darkest of days. I mean, there is always a silver lining in every cloud. So, amidst a thousand reasons to be sad and disappointed about the issue of the school closure, let’s find a reason to be happy about it.
You know, what if this is an opportunity for you to develop yourself regarding the activities that really matter to you? What if this break is an avenue for you to grow, to improve? The reason a lot of students give for not improving at what they would like to improve at is lack of sufficient time due to the need to study hard, attend classes, group discussions et al. And of course, that is so understandable. But now, there are no classes to attend, no group discussions, no notes to write. This is the best time for you to learn that skill, read that book, take that course, and whatever else it is that you would love to do. I have learnt from bitter experience that you don’t expect OAU to resume one week after a strike or even, a legitimate holiday. They would most likely spend a month or two or even three! Don’t sleep away and be patiently waiting for OAU to resume whilst doing nothing worthwhile with your life.
I have a suggestion for you as you start your break; PLAN! Really, plan! Most of us are home now without knowing the next step to take. For a lot, this break will not be wasted not because you don’t want to make optimum use of it but because you have no definite plan for it. Don’t tell me you want to improve at this and that. Show me HOW! Set goals! Show me how you want to achieve these goals. Write your plan down so it is possible for you to follow up with it. If you want to work, for instance, write the type of work you would like to do, how long you would like to work there. If you want to learn a skill, write down the skill, how do you want to learn it? Who do you want to teach you? If you want to read books, what type of books do you want to read? For how long do you want to read a book? What do you want to have achieved after reading each book? Our problems can be solved by asking the right questions and by planning to solve them.
I hope this has helped you. Any questions? Or is there any way I could help you achieve your goals this break? Please feel free to mail me at [email protected]
Today is Day 13 of the Improvement Challenge. The Improvement Challenge (#TIC21) is an initiative aimed at helping people improve at things that they do and would like to improve at. Learn more about the Improvement Challenge HERE. You could also view previous posts:
The Improvement Challenge – Day 2
On Leadership : The Improvement Challenge – Day 3
Isn’t Wanting to be Perfect a Waste of Time? #TIC21 Day 5
The Improvement Challenge – Day 7
Thank you for reading. Please share your thoughts as they are very valuable to me. Thanks!
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The Improvement Challenge- Day 7
Say “Yeah Yeahhh!”
It’s the 7th day of #TIC21 and I feel really fulfilled about that. It’s been a long, not-so-easy challenge mehn. The uncertainty that stared me in the eyes while starting the challenge could have made me decide not to go on. I am grateful for those who believed in me and in my ability to do this. And I am really grateful for those who joined in the challenge right from Day 1 and those who joined along the line. It is Day 7 and even though this is just a fraction of the whole program, I do believe it is worth celebrating.
When we take up responsibilities that seem very enormous and we succeed at them, we’re motivated and convinced that we can keep doing great things. The second part of this challenge would be greater than the former in Jesus’ name. If you’re wondering what the Improvement Challenge is all about, your answer is here
You will also be blessed by previous posts that have been posted in the past days of the Improvement Challenge:
The Improvement Challenge – Day 2
On Leadership : The Improvement Challenge – Day 3
Isn’t Wanting to be Perfect a Waste of Time? #TIC21 Day 5
You could share your experiences with us on Twitter using the hashtag #TIC21. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Orifunke Lawal
@Orifunke on Twitter
Orifunke Lawal on Facebook.
Isn’t Wanting to be Perfect a Waste of Time? #TIC21 Day 5
Some years ago, you had this amazing idea that got you all excited whenever you thought about it. As a wise person, you sat down to think about it and plan for it. Then it occurred to you that you weren’t perfect enough to conceptualize the idea. It also came to your notice that the conditions that surrounded you at that time were not perfect enough. Years down the line, that idea is still in your kitchen cupboard, waiting to be remembered. Just a few months ago, you refused to work on that business idea or take up that project that could have helped to positively impact lives in your community because you thought you weren’t capable enough or that the conditions weren’t perfect enough for you to do something about it. Months after, that idea is still under your bed, forgotten, because the perfect conditions are yet to arrive and you are yet to become perfect.
I understand how this happens because it has happened to me a lot of times. The chord of pain that strikes your soul when you see that someone who doesn’t even know you is carrying out your idea is not something I think I could describe. And all that, because I wanted more perfect conditions to start something perfect.
Listen up! If everyone waited till they were perfect before doing something that they thought was great then nothing great would ever be done. Nothing! Perfection is insuperable. And so are perfect conditions. I believe there is no such thing as a perfect timing to start something right. You have to seize the timing itself and make it perfect. Nothing would be done in the next ten years if you keep waiting for you to be perfect. There has never been, and will never be a perfect you for a perfect project. And situations may never be more appropriate for you than they are now. You’ve got to stand up and stop waiting for a better time to do that important stuff that’s still lying on your shelf; start writing that book, take steps towards starting that business, start that project, take that course, start something! For if you don’t, in ten years time, you will still not be a perfect man.
P.S: I started an Improvement Challenge last Friday, 3rd July, 2015. The Improvement Challenge, which spans for 21 days, aims at helping you develop habits towards achieving your goals by doing them every day for 21 days. Looking forward to having you join us. Learn more about the Challenge here
Orifunke Lawal
@Orifunke on Twitter.
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On Leadership: The Improvement Challenge- Day 3
Welcome to The Improvement Challenge, Day 3! It has been a purposeful ride all through. I appreciate all those who have committed to this challenge with me too. I am positive that it is going to be worth it! If you have no idea what the Improvement Challenge is, read it up here
My Day 2 of #TIC21 was fulfilling. I did everything I was supposed to do; studied my Bible, wrote something and I started reading the book I intended to read. For my 21 days Improvement Challenge, I’m reading John C. Maxwell‘s “5 Levels of Leadership”. Although I started reading it some weeks back, I felt the need to start reading all over again. So, I would be telling you one or two things I learnt from this book yesterday. For those who have read John C. Maxwell’s “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, this might look familiar.
P.S: I am not doing a book review. If you want to know all that is in the book, gaan buy it *tongue out*
The first lesson I learnt from this book is that making a positive impact in your world is dependent on your ability to lead. Contrary to popular belief, Leadership is not being in position. If you think leadership is position, how then will you lead effectively if you do not occupy a position? The only way to enforce that change that you so much desire in your country and in your immediate environment is by learning to be a better leader. And this, of course, requires intentional efforts. Read books, listen to messages, find ways to learn how to lead without being in a position. And if you would like to learn Leadership, the Improvement Challenge of 21 days might just be exactly what you need. *wink*
Thank you for reading. Have a purposeful week ahead!
Orifunke Lawal
@Orifunke on Twitter
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The Improvement Challenge- Day 2 #TIC21
Yessss! It’s the second day of The Improvement Challenge! Are you excited? The Improvement Challenge began yesterday and it is a project aimed at helping people improve at things that they do and would like to improve at. I have been surprised at the number of people who have showed interest in the Challenge and I celebrate you all.
My Day One of #TIC21 was good. I wrote an article that I would publish later on. Since my goal is to be a better writer, I have resolved to write something everyday for twenty-one days. For those who started the Challenge yesterday? How was it? What did you do? What did you learn? Could you tell us your story? Please, we’re looking forward to it.
Still yet to join the Improvement Challenge? You’re quite on time! How to join?
1. Write out a particular thing or list out a set of things that you really want to improve at. For me, one of them is my writing and so, I would be writing everyday for the next 21 days. I would advise that you have a small number of things to improve at so you can focus and measure your growth/improvement. Too many of them might make you “burdened” along the line.
2. At the end of each day, please share your story for the day to encourage all others who are also in the challenge with us. If you please, you could send me your story to share with others.
If you have any questions and comments, and if there is any help I could render to you with regard to this challenge, please feel free to message me personally. Thank you!
Orifunke Lawal
@Orifunke
Orifunke Lawal
JOIN THE IMPROVEMENT CHALLENGE
Are you sure this is not the opportunity you have been waiting for?
You have often wished you could get yourself to write a page of that book everyday, w ished you could get up earlier than normal everyday so you could adequately prepare for the day ahead, wished you could take some time out everyday to study your Bible and pray, wished you could take calculated steps everyday towards the achievement of a particular goal. However, it seems as though you lack the human will to make resolutions and keep to them. You’ve tried and tried but it’s not just working. Or, you probably have never seen the need to daily work towards a particular goal.
Well, The Improvement Challenge might be JUST FOR YOU! YES! The Improvement Challenge is a 21-day journey towards getting better at a particular thing(s) that you do. It starts today and we’re waiting for you to come on board. Joining us is easy!
1. Write out a particular thing or list out a set of things that you really want to improve at. For me, one of them is my writing and so, I would be writing everyday for the next 21 days. I would advise that you have a small number of things to improve at so you can focus and measure your growth/improvement. Too many of them might make you “burdened” along the line.
2. At the end of each day, please share your story for the day to encourage all others who are also in the challenge with us. If you please, you could send me your story to share with others.
If you have any questions and comments, and if there’s any help I could render to you with regard to this challenge, please feel free to message me personally. Thank you!
Orifunke Lawal
@Orifunke on Twitter.
Orifunke Lawal on Facebook.
A Problem Buhari Cannot Solve
At long last, the dispensation of Change that Nigerians have so anticipated for a long time has come. Hardly could members of the opposition party wait for May the 29th to arrive and now, it has come, and gone. And here we all are, trusting and hoping that this would truly be the season of change we have protested and prayed for all these years. It is of no doubt that every citizen expects the new government to look into the problems we have in this country. And while that is not uncalled for, I am quite afraid that there is one major problem eating Nigeria up hard, that President Mohammadu Buhari might not be able to look into or solve.
Over time on twitter, there have been sessions of uproar which have transpired between people of different tribes (The Igbos and the Yorubas, specifically). I am totally fed up of the unseeming bants the Yorubas throw against the Igbos and vice-versa. You know, this has driven me to think. Perhaps corruption isn’t our greatest problem. Perhaps the lack of love is. Perhaps tribalism is. Furthermore, I ask, if we truly want a better Nigeria, are we looking forward to achieving it this way? Do you ever wonder if the last line of the first stanza of our National Anthem would ever come to pass? How this infuriates me every now and then, not because I am yoruba, but because I hate to see that the so-called great people of a great nation can not even join hands together without thinking of or calling out the faults of other tribes. It is even alarming to think that the open hatred and condemnation amongst Nigerian tribes on the social media is but a shadow of what truly is in reality. If we want to build Nigeria, can we build Nigeria without building one another? And can we build one another without loving one another? I would like to know.
This might mean nothing to you, but I am plain tired of the twitter bants. So, this is what I believe. Buhari might be an agent of true change but this is not a problem I think he would be able to solve because the problem lies in the hands on every Nigerian (you and me) to solve. I know the tribal conflict will come up again on Twitter or on Facebook or anywhere else but I believe that with every Nigerian who will take the effort to love his neighbour without segregating, and without hypocrisy, an effective step will be added to the national journey towards peace and unity.
@Orifunke