Category Archives: The Lagos Series
Life in Makoko – Director DijiaderoGBA’s Interview | The Lagos Series, Week 9
From the good to the bad to the ugly, Lagos gives you different faces. One of the faces of Lagos is Makoko, a community which hosts about a million people, according to research. In his latest documentary, Life in Makoko, DijiaderoGBA shares highly visual and emotionally intriguing stories of Makoko. The documentary is what you would call “storytelling at its peak”. The visuals, the soundtrack, the people, the place, the stories and everything are proof that DijiaderoGBA has done a more than an excellent job on this project.
DijiaderoGBA is a Nigerian filmmaker/Director, writer and photographer who, from childhood, has been a fan of storytelling. He attributes his love for stories to where he grew up. In his words, “In as much as there are many stories to be told in the world, my main focus and love is African storytelling because that’s who I am, an African.” He is basically a storyteller via films, writings and photography.
The Lagos Series engaged the award-winning filmmaker in an interview in a bid to allow him to share personal information about Life in Makoko, including what inspired the story and what he hoped to achieve with the story.
What inspired the Makoko story?
I got to know about the community called Makoko some years back and I did more research via Google and mostly, YouTube. Since then, I have always wanted to tell the community’s story. Last month, I met a tweep and we started talking about films and how she wants me to help tell her story. Fast forward, I didn’t know what made me mention Makoko in our conversation but as soon as I mentioned it, she liked the idea and told me she lived there for almost two decades!
I was so happy. We talked about meeting up and after some days, I travelled to Lagos and we went to Makoko together for the pre-production stage of the documentary. Weeks later, we made the documentary and here it is, telling the story I have wanted to tell.
What do you hope to achieve with the Makoko story?
My major aim is to help the society and the less-privileged living there, especially the kids. I called my team before we went there to make the documentary and told them all I want to achieve with this project is to get the story out and hope people see to help.
I’m glad to say last week Sunday, I was there with some people that saw the documentary and thought it was right to give the community some used clothes, shoes, food etc. We fed some people and gave out a lot of stuff for upkeep. I still want more NGOs, individuals and elite people in the society to see this project and give to the society.
What has the feedback been like since you published the video?
It’s been amazing and blessed. I have gotten feedback from people all over the world. People that never knew about the community and its people. It’s been great so far for me and my team.
Is this a one-off thing or is it a project where you also get to visit other areas in Lagos?
Well, I can’t say for now because I major in films not documentary but when the time comes and I see a reason to tell stories via documentary, I will gladly do. Lol.
If you haven’t already seen Life in Makoko, you definitely should do that here and let him know your thoughts:
HIDDEN EUPHORIA – Life In Makoko (A dijiaderoGBA film )
Did you enjoy reading this? Sure you did! Catch up on all the other episodes that we have had here: The Lagos Series
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
My First BRT Experience in Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 8
Ever been on a Lagos BRT before? Can you recall what your first BRT experience in Lagos was like? Fun? Normal? Mine was awful and I’m going to tell you why.
So y’all have seen the video of Femi Otedola in a molue, right? I’m guessing you oohed and ahhed, gushing at how amazing it is that he took the plunge to the baser lifestyle of the average Nigerian. Okay, not so average.
Funny enough, while I watched the video clip, all I could think of was how I felt when I got into a BRT bus for the first time.
In all my years as a Lagosian, all my life actually, I had never been in a BRT or molue for that matter. Until April. It was my first BRT experience in Lagos that I promised that I would never repeat. Actually, I never even thought I would ever experience it, despite all my talks of how I’m a Lagosian and I’ve basically done everything that counts in Lagos –eaten boli, trekked from one bus stop to another, fought with conductor for change, haggled and bargained for the price of pepper in a market, taken a bike from Ikeja to my home (quite a scary heart-in-my mouth distance), the list goes on..or so I thought!
Catch Up On Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
I digress. Anyway, so how was my first BRT experience in Lagos? Awful! I was holding onto my bag like hell’s waters.
How it all began? I was running late for an appointment and had to figure out how to get from Ketu to Ikoyi. CMS, was the option. Alas, there was no bus heading straight that way and Ubering it wasn’t an option, I mean girl was reeeed, so I bit the bullet and decided to get into a BRT bus when it seemed like the only option.
I was like, yay, gonna get there on time, save funds and still feel like a G. Yeah? No.
Did You Miss This? What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
I did save funds. I mean, BRT from Ketu to TBS was N200! Imagine my surprise! Gosh, how I’ve been wasting money on transport (a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do). I could not believe my luck.
Then came the surprise, more like culture shock(s). First, as I was about to buy my ticket, I saw some kids tryna get my attention; “Aunty, aunty! Please comman buy our ticket.”
I was like whoa, what’s going on here? Looked at the ticket guy and he gave me this unassuming look. I was like hell to the na, nobody gonna syphon my funds. Before I had time to react, the guy was asking the kids if they had change, so he could give me their ticket instead of the authentic one with him. I was like “who be mugu for here?” Politely told him no and bought the right ticket.
I thought that was all for the drama, only for me to almost get into the wrong bus, being saved from myself by some passengers. I’m sure they knew I was clueless.
Ever Being Stranded in Lagos? Read: Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
Got saved and onto the next bandwagon. Oh the horror, I felt so out of place, I couldn’t understand it, I mean, this is the girl that takes public transport like no man’s business then suddenly she is scared and holding onto her bag looking bright-eyed.
I was like, get a hold of yourself! But, no, the inner voice wouldn’t shut up; “What if they steal your bag?”, “Don’t bring out your phone”, “Don’t look too stiff”, “Don’t look too fidgety”, “Oh my gosh, this is how it must feel in subways, no wonder people are warned about subways”, “Is this appointment really that important”, “Why so stingy? Should have taken Uber”, “What if you miss your bus stop? You can’t shout ‘owa!‘ like before.”
You would love this! How To Live Long In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 5
Don’t get me wrong, my fellow passengers looked like respectable people but the ones that didn’t…didn’t and that was not easy to deal with. I mean in other public transports, if there’s a calamity…say someone going crazy in the bus…you can jump out the window (maybe?) Or go out the trunk, but in this BRT bus, there was no escaping, the bus was high and sealed. Hmm, no wonder it’s easy for Americans to hijack school buses and the likes over there (well, it’s seen in the movies), there’s no escape route.
On getting to Costain, I became somewhat relieved knowing I would soon get to my bus stop, only for the driver to get to Leventis and scream at the few of us left in the bus that Leventis was the last bus-stop.
I swerved, “Wait, what!”
Before I said anything, an old man got up and started ranting at the driver, another passenger who tried to pacify the situation finally begged the driver to explain to the Leventis ticket guy that we didn’t know we got into the wrong bus and he should let us get into another that’d take us to our destination. The bus driver refused, abusing me and the five other passengers.
Tails between our legs, led by the ranting old man, we went to meet the ticket salesperson and explained our situation. Seeing how many we were, he believed us and got us into another bus going to CMS without charging us a ticket fee.
Upon getting to CMS, I swiftly got down, thanked the old man that saved our situation, got into a “safer” public transport, well on my way to the venue. In time.
Anyway, so I watched Otedola’s molue video clip and wondered how he must have been feeling. I noticed he checked his pocket when he got down.
One question though, didn’t passengers recognize him?
Oh, by the way, I survived, got to my appointment on time and got back home safely.
Living On The Island Or Mainland- Which Is Better? | The Lagos Series, Week 7
My BRT experience in Lagos ranks up there with my Okada-on-the-express experience. I will tell you about that sometime. But for now…Ciao.
So, what was your first BRT experience in Lagos like? Tell me about it, will you?
Glossary
Molue – Lagos yellow buses popular in 90’s
BRT – Bus Rapid Transit
Bike – Motorcycle
Boli – roasted plantain
“Feel like a G” – (slang) to be on top of your game
“Who be mugu for here?” – Do I look stupid?
Owa! – (Yoruba) This is my stop!
Okada– Motorcycle
Gabriella Opara is an illustrator of words, drawings and clothes. She blogs at glamogenscribbles.wordpress.com/
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
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Living on the Island or Mainland- Which is Better? | The Lagos Series, Week 7
For many people who are in the working class, there is usually a need to consider either living on the Island or mainland of Lagos. A lot of people are crazy about staying on the Island and I do not blame them; everyone wants to stay in the high brow areas. We want that response of admiration you get when you tell someone you stay in Victoria Island as against when you tell someone you live in somewhere like Ajegunle. Right? Lol. Living on the Island is cool, really, and has several benefits. For instance, the place looks beautiful (the fine places o) and I hear that security there is really tight.
The Island consists of areas including Ikoyi, Lekki, Victoria Island, Ajah while the mainland consists of just about every place that is not on the Island. Lagos mainland comprises well over 70% of Lagos.
Having lived on the mainland for a larger part of my life and also having lived on the Island for a very short while, I would readily take living on the mainland over the Island. One, I think I am just really resistant to change and I don’t like moving to new environments even if it’s just for a few weeks. Asides that, here are some reasons why I prefer living on the mainland to living on the Island.
- Cost of Living
Well, if you are really really wealthy and can afford to keep spending money, you could move to the Island. But for me, I am not a fan of living in a place where I have to spend double or more than I would on the mainland, from the food to the houses and lands and other items. Life on the Island is just too expensive (for me, that is) and when I see a number of my people who just manage to pull through all along with debts incurred from staying on the Island, I am grateful I have settled down with staying where I am. I do not think it wise for anyone to live where they can’t readily afford. What’s the essence of incurring debts because you want to look rich? Tah.
- Flooding wahala
I decided to visit a friend of mine who stays on the Island one time when I was on a two-week leave from work. The plan was to stay there for a few days before travelling out of Lagos to see my family in Delta state. It turned out to be a very big mistake. The night before I was to travel, it rained cats and dogs and you know Island na– everywhere became flooded. So flooded that I couldn’t even drive out or my car would be badly damaged. Even to walk sef was almost impossible as the water was like a large pool. To make matters worse, the lights had to go off to avoid electrocution problems. I kept blaming myself because I was about to move the next day when it happened.
Photo-credit: https://www.channelstv.com/2017/07/08/lagosians-lament-as-flood-hits-lekki-victoria-island/
- Traffic is everywhere
I don’t know if it’s just me but I think I prefer mainland’s traffic to Island’s traffic coupled with the fact that Island is far. I know that mainland’s traffic can be really crazy too but then I know I’m close to my house whenever I’m on the Island, no matter how far I could be away from home. What I’m saying is that there’s traffic in both places so I’d settle for that of the mainland. Lol
Photo-credit: ThePointNG
Living on the Island or Mainland?
It might be a different ball game for you and my rules are not hard-and-fast. There are a lot of factors that would require you staying on the Island. For instance, if your job is on/close to the Island, it only makes sense to stay close by. If I was working on the Island, I most likely would have found a way to move there since. If you are also someone who likes your peace of mind intact, the Island could be a better option. I mean, it is not very likely that you will find random bus conductors and drivers breaking bottles on their heads. There are also beautiful houses on Lagos Island, but there are a whole lot of them on the mainland too so… Different strokes for different folks, yeah?
So where do you prefer to stay more if you live in Lagos? Island or Mainland.
Written by Ese Oghene, a practising lawyer and ghostwriter.
Haven’t read previous episodes of The Lagos Series yet? Catch up here: The Lagos Series
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
How To Live Long In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 5
As a Lagosian, one of the things you might be interested in knowing is how to live long in Lagos. Oh, you didn’t know? There are a thousand ways to die in Lagos, just like in every other metropolitan city in the world. But not to worry, we have compiled a list of all the things you need to know about how to live long in Lagos. Yes, we love you and we care about your life. *wide grin*
P.S: This list has been compiled from responses to a poll on our Facebook community a few weeks ago. Although the poll was centred around what everyone needs to know when living in Lagos or coming to Lagos for the first time, we have developed on them, giving due credit to original responders.
Catch Up On: Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
1. Understand that nobody knows anywhere in Lagos
Lagosians can relate. You find yourself in a location you’re not familiar with and you decide to ask for directions? No, bruh, don’t do it! One guy would ask you to walk down and turn around and when you do, another Mama would tell you that you came the wrong way and ask you to return the way you came. Then someone else would tell you something else till you eventually get tired and die. Okay, just kidding. But if you are not careful, too much walk can kill someone in this Lagos. So, how to ensure Lagosians don’t kill you when you’re visiting anywhere for the first time?
Always get adequate directions before going to any new place- Durosomo Manuel Olanrewaju
It is not always advisable to ask for directions from some Lagosians- Oyindamola Grace Osinnubi
Photo-credit: tenor.com
2. Remember that only God can be trusted
Yes, you heard that, right? When we hear pathetic stories relating to one person or the other in Lagos, we are reminded that you really can’t trust anybody. As you walk on that road, as you board that bike, as you board that bus, keep it at the back of your mind that you owe it to yourself to be extremely on alert. You don’t want to die before your time o, so shine your eyes. Sometimes people look suspicious, other times, they don’t. Whatever or whenever sha-
Suspect everyone. Every one.- Oluseyi Abisoye Mafolabomi
Photo-credit: activememe.com
Did You Miss This? What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
3. Know that the tush ones are in anywhere but Lagos
If you have stayed in Lagos long enough, you should know that you have to know when to switch from “Queen’s English Mode” to “Iyalaya E Mode”. Yes, that’s one secret to living long in this Lagos o. If you know you want to be tush, kindly stay outside Lagos (or on the Island sha). As you step out every day, ensure to carry your alter ego along, in case the other is to come in handy. This is Lagos- don’t be tush, don’t be slow. Eh ehn.
Know when to package and know when to scatter…You scatter body to enter bus, you package when you enter finish. You scatter voice to ask for change and you package voice to talk to your bus neighbour. If you mix package and scatter up, you’re on your own. For example, if you package voice to call your bus stop now, my sister, you’re on your way to another bus stop. Amen?- Akindele Oyinlola Dorcas
Keep your accent at home and pick Lagos accent when you land in Lagos- Oluwasanjo Bolaji
GIF credit: GIPHY.com
Ever Being Stranded in Lagos? Read: Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
4. Respect Yourself, Your Future & The Prayers of Your Mother While Dressing Up
Okay. Let us admit. We don’t know exactly how you can do this one but one thing we would ask of you is not to overdress anywhere, especially if you are a guy. Remember the #EndSars campaign that went viral on social media some months ago? It should definitely remind you of how you should be careful about dressing up when you’re going out. We’re not saying you shouldn’t dress up oo, we’re just saying- well, you should know.
Don’t look like a big boy or girl! You will just be attracting trouble ni- Ayomide Ilegbemi
Avoid SARS!- John Jodah Adah
We will stop here today as we will not want to get you scared of ever coming to Lagos if you’re planning to come sometime in the future. Lest we forget, some time ago, Orifunke wrote a post on Four things you should never do in Lagos and we think it might be useful for you.
Enjoyed reading this? We love love love your feedback. Please drop a comment letting us know you were here. Have a contribution to make to the post? Kindly use the comments box!
If you are visiting for the first time, you REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS EPISODES ASAP!!! Luckily for you, we’ve not gone very far yet. Read all previous episodes here: The Lagos Series
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
Make Your Life A Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 4
The Lagos Series is on the fourth week and it keeps getting better and better. Our entry today, Make Your Life A Lagos, is a video by Adewunmi Up’stairs Oke that is very much inspiring. You will absolutely enjoy. It’s the most inspiring thing written about Lagos that you will have seen.
Missed the previous episodes of The Lagos Series? Read them here:
Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
He says, “Developing your Life is the most rewarding gift you can give to yourself; it doesn’t matter how menial or huge the task is, how rough or smooth the road is.
To enjoy today’s episode, click on the video below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3rDdn67RuI&feature=youtu.be
Missed the previous episodes of The Lagos Series? Read them here:
What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
(Kindly comment and share before you leave)
Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
Ever heard of antonyms? That’s what ‘Gidi’ and ‘broke’ sound like to any correct Lagosian. You can’t be afford being broke in Lagos, it is a disaster! A tornado! A hurricane!!! I kid, but seriously, you do not want to be broke in Lagos.
Missed the previous episodes of The Lagos Series? Read them here:
What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
Unfortunately at some point, ‘broke’ would glitter in your ‘Gidi’ diaries. The real test of your ‘gidiness’ is in how well you manage your brokenness amidst the daily chaos and how smart you cover up your tracks while doing that.
But please let me warn you!! Don’t be broke in Lagos!!! Do not be broke in Lagos!!! If you ever get broke, BE SMART!!! Here’s a helpful list of what you shouldn’t do when you’re broke by the way.
That’s how this fine, fresh boy I call friend left his house that day o, starch-ironed shirt, crisp trousers, and well-polished shoes. Now, lemme epp your imagination; imagine that ‘tush’ guy with clean punk cut, highly professional look- ehn ehn.
The guy enter eatery order food, only to discover that money flew from his pocket – whether he forgot his purse at home or ‘the owners’ obtained it, he wasn’t sure. But bottom line, no cash!
The babe attending to him was already microwaving food and smiling like my guy will give her the “keep the change’ line.
My guy did a few pocket checks; you know the movie part where suddenly your pocket flies under your shoe. Film trick was becoming real, na so my guy carry phone, dey form…
“Eeerrrmmmm, where are you now? I am already at the eatery. Have you entered, can you see me? Okay, lemme come out so you can see me. I am wearing a white shirt…” blah, blah, blah…
As hin dey talk, hin dey comot the place, na so smart child waka comot before slap and hot stew land hin head…
In Lagos when you are broke, being cute cannot save your ass, RUN!!
Don’t judge us mehn, anyway na way in Lagos. The hustle is real.
And one quick piece of advice, if you are broke and you know it, don’t mess with the conductors of those yellow buses, some in white buses can still reason with you (don’t ever quote me, abeg) but most of the yellow buses are “Eru Iku” (slaves of death). Those guys don’t send you one bit. They spit on you, squeeze you, sit on you if care is not taken and eventually get you intoxicated on residual ‘omi gutter’ stenches. Beht if you joke with their ten naira, you are in for it.
That day, one of my guys, Yinka, had used his last card to get to Ogba from Gbagada and was hoping there would be a miracle when he got to his destination so he could get back home. But on this day, his miracle was on sabbatical leave, didn’t show or appear o and worse still, he didn’t know anyone where he went.
Being the proud, well-groomed child that he is, baba carry face, went to Koko Bus-stop, entered a bus and got down at Anthony and started to do pity-face for the conductor and speak incoherent Yoruba and pidgin mixed in one – just call it ‘yorubapigin’.
After many pleas from the impatient commuters, the conductor freed my guy but not without a huge chunk of curses. Oh! I have not told you about the first grade ‘Isale-Eko’ curses that can make you rethink if your destiny was aligned sef. Chai!!! These curses come with blows and slaps as bodyguards. Don’t mess with these guys o.
Sometimes I can’t even blame Lagosians for the constant rush, straight faces and inhumane behaviours. One has to be really strong to survive on these streets. Your ‘shepeterian’ level needs intermittent shots of adrenaline. You can’t afford to be underdosed on “ginga” and ‘hustle’. If you are, you will crack and once you crack it is just a matter of time before you split open.
The thought of being cashless in a land where money exchanges hands without sighting the faces of men is devastating enough; the drama that follows when caught by unforeseen circumstances can lead to depression. And you know what is funny,
Lagos owes you nothing but you owe it being tough, after which ‘Gidi owes you everything!! Yes o everything, including association with men who think you are forever indebted to them – they swindle you at the slightest opportunity, stay with you through hard times only to walk away with things you fought for. And the corporate thieves that hunt a broke life.
My dear, being broke in Lagos isn’t an ailment, it’s just in the moment, it usually passes as quickly as it comes. However, don’t be surprised when you find some people whose constant way of life has become being broke. Being broke is how they make a living; they are the ones you would meet at Agege bus stop today, Iyana-Ipaja tomorrow, Berger next tomorrow at bus stops and strategic people-crowded places. They have, over time, perfected the art of retelling their stories and perfecting their acts to gain your pity. See, we would come back to this gist; this is just a forewarning. For you, the Sane, Prim and Proper, being broke is a disaster, for a select Gidi few, it’s a way of life. Deal with it!
My friend, before they come for my head, abeg, let me recline from the day’s hustle and travel back to somewhere other than Lagos where smiling faces tell the tales of the quests which we have travailed. Meanwhile, have you ever been broke in Lagos? Biko share, lemme laugh…
Glossary
Gidi – Lagos
Gidiness – How much of a tough Lagosian you are.
Shepeterian – Well, Let’s just say an unruly fellow
Omo dada – Good child
Ginga – High level of excitement
Hustle – Intense hustle
Yorubapidgin – A barbaric mix of Yoruba and pidgin languages
Isale –Eko – A popular suburb of Lagos city
Eru Iku – Slaves of death
Omi gutter – A concoction of alcohol and hard drugs
WRITTEN BY: WEMIMO ADEJUWON, A pharmacist and a Writer.
ALL GIFs gotten from GIPHY.
Missed the previous episodes of The Lagos Series? Read them here:
What Lagos Means | The Lagos Series, Week 2
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
(Kindly comment and share before you leave)
What Lagos Means In Five Verses | The Lagos Series | Week 2
This poem by Mosobalaje Abimbola (King Abimbola) is one that perfectly and effortlessly describes what Lagos means. It encapsulates the daily life that most people in Lagos can relate to. This is the second entry in The Lagos Series and we have twenty-eight weeks to go. Last week, we had a post on Lagos Yoruba Demons. Read it here: Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
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Lagos
There are many names which Lagos can be called;
A whore who welcomes everybody into her bosom
Without discrimination,
A restless soul –because she never sleeps,
even when darkness bites into the soul of the day.
If like me, you love music, you’ll listen
To the unrhythmic rhythms of Molues, BRTs, hawkers,
You will hear the silent, but heavy thumps of hearts
Imperfectly held in figurines with faces soaked with sweat.
You can say Lagos is that disrespectful child,
But not the spoilt brat like a fermented meal.
It bears no respect for anyone; you could be in a suit,
Sitting on the step of a BRT, while a boy in shorts
Sits comfortably in a chair with his ears plugged with a phone.
No one is allowed
The luxury of nothingness;
Somehow, the sojourners get rods to play
their drums, It is how they remind themselves of living.
Here, since the sun shone, it has never set
It will never set.
For those who have chosen to suckle life’s milk
From the sagging breasts of the many-breasted woman,
I hope we never choke on its fluid.
King Abimbola
What Lagos Means
Missed the last episode of The Lagos Series? Read it here:
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
(Kindly comment and share before you leave)
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
If you’re Nigerian and especially live in Lagos, then the idea of Yoruba demons is not novel to you. I, for one, have had an interesting number of experiences with them.
My freshest memory of one was a dude (in his early thirties) who was working in the same organization as I was and was seriously making passes at me every good day. For the naïve person I was, I was quite fascinated about how or why he wasn’t married yet even though he looked like he had everything he needed to start a family.
Well, I didn’t say yes to him. One, which was the most important, I was in a relationship. And two, I just felt he was too old and unintelligent for me. I endured him for many weeks until he got into some trouble in the company and was fired.
As usual, he was the talk of the company for a while after he left. One beautiful day, a colleague of mine was talking about him and he said, “I don’t know how John will cater for his pregnant wife now.”
I shook. What? Pregnant wife? You mean, John has a wife, a pregnant wife? I found it really hard to believe. I had asked him if he was single and he had affirmed it. I’d also asked him why he was single and he said something about not finding the right person yet.
So this guy that had been making passes at me was married and his wife was pregnant! I was mad. No, really, I was so mad. Not because I cared about him or would have said yes to him but because I couldn’t just think about how he could be so cruel and unfaithful!
Now, this was the most infuriating thing- I called him after to let him know that I knew he was married and how I was disappointed with him. Do you know this guy absolutely denied it? He absofuckinglutely denied it. In fact, he still denies it.
That was one of the Yoruba demon experiences I first had.
Who is a Yoruba Demon?
A “Yoruba demon” is a guy who is a specialist at cheating on his lovers or breaking the hearts of innocent girls. And it is important to note that the term “Yoruba demon” although is mostly made to refer to Yoruba guys who break hearts, any guy of any tribe can be a Yoruba demon, even if he is white.
How to know a “Yoruba Demon”?
To be honest, I don’t know. I have a list of things in my head that I’d advise any lady to be aware of before saying yes to a guy or while dating him. For example, I can’t trust a guy who’s 28 and above not to be married or at least, have someone he’s dating. I’m not saying it’s impossible o but until I am convinced, I don’t believe.
Sometimes there are warning signs which are really obvious unless you’re too blinded by love to see. However, there are demons and there are demons. And some of them have so perfected the art of looking and acting innocent. The only way you can find them out is-
Allow the Holy Spirit lead you ???
Because, to be honest, only God can show you who is who. So before you say yes to a guy who lives in Lagos, has a car, has a house, looks like he’s ready for marriage, better pray in tongues well (If you’re a Christian) so you have enough information about him from the Spirit. ???
P.S: This is from a personal opinion. You might not agree with it.
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Four Things You Should Never Do In Lagos
I have been in Lagos all my life. And asides the four years I spent in school, away from Lagos, I pretty much have been in Lagos through and through. So when I write a post on the things you should never do in Lagos, trust that I am not just talking from knowledge but from experience. Lol, don’t mind me, I’m just feeling myself. If you’re a lagosian, you will agree with this. And if you’re a new or aspiring lagosian, you’ll definitely need this.
1. Never ever give strangers audience. Five years ago, I almost got scammed by two unknown guys because I stood to listen to them. Let’s say I was fotunate not to have fallen (evidence of a mother’s strong prayers). I have heard similar stories of people who fell prey and who, at the end of the day, end up losing money or other valuable stuff. So please, when someone you don’t know walks up to you and tries to start a conversation with, walk away or totally ignore. Unless you have mind sha.
2. Never go to thrift markets with all your money in one place,if you have a lot of it with you.
This will particularly come in handy for females who regularly visit the market. Cashless transactions aren’t common in thrift markets so you have to deal with carrying money around. I know someone who would split her money into different places (purse, socks, bra… Lol) before going shopping. So if one part got missing, the others remained intact. Absurd, but could save you tears and worries anytime.
3. When a fight breaks out in a place, leave.
Sometimes my amebo attitude will not permit me to run away. I like to still stand and wonder what could have caused the fight and how it would end. My mom hates this and growing up, the first thing she did when a fight broke out anywhere was to carry her children away from there instantly. Why? You never know. The police could come and arrest everybody and put them in prison whether they’re at fault or not. Or, they could start breaking bottles or shooting each other. ?
4. If you’re in public transport, keep your phones or gadgets unless you’re sure you’re extremely safe. I am usually very careful about using my phone when I’m in a public transport. I can’t deal with the trauma of having my phone snatched or being robbed. If you’re in a personal car, do well to wind up always when driving, especially when in a stand-still traffic.
So, what are the things a person should never do in Lagos that I have not highlighted? Please use the comments box.
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