My First BRT Experience in Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 8
Ever been on a Lagos BRT before? Can you recall what your first BRT experience in Lagos was like? Fun? Normal? Mine was awful and I’m going to tell you why.
So y’all have seen the video of Femi Otedola in a molue, right? I’m guessing you oohed and ahhed, gushing at how amazing it is that he took the plunge to the baser lifestyle of the average Nigerian. Okay, not so average.
Funny enough, while I watched the video clip, all I could think of was how I felt when I got into a BRT bus for the first time.
In all my years as a Lagosian, all my life actually, I had never been in a BRT or molue for that matter. Until April. It was my first BRT experience in Lagos that I promised that I would never repeat. Actually, I never even thought I would ever experience it, despite all my talks of how I’m a Lagosian and I’ve basically done everything that counts in Lagos –eaten boli, trekked from one bus stop to another, fought with conductor for change, haggled and bargained for the price of pepper in a market, taken a bike from Ikeja to my home (quite a scary heart-in-my mouth distance), the list goes on..or so I thought!
Catch Up On Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
I digress. Anyway, so how was my first BRT experience in Lagos? Awful! I was holding onto my bag like hell’s waters.
How it all began? I was running late for an appointment and had to figure out how to get from Ketu to Ikoyi. CMS, was the option. Alas, there was no bus heading straight that way and Ubering it wasn’t an option, I mean girl was reeeed, so I bit the bullet and decided to get into a BRT bus when it seemed like the only option.
I was like, yay, gonna get there on time, save funds and still feel like a G. Yeah? No.
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I did save funds. I mean, BRT from Ketu to TBS was N200! Imagine my surprise! Gosh, how I’ve been wasting money on transport (a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do). I could not believe my luck.
Then came the surprise, more like culture shock(s). First, as I was about to buy my ticket, I saw some kids tryna get my attention; “Aunty, aunty! Please comman buy our ticket.”
I was like whoa, what’s going on here? Looked at the ticket guy and he gave me this unassuming look. I was like hell to the na, nobody gonna syphon my funds. Before I had time to react, the guy was asking the kids if they had change, so he could give me their ticket instead of the authentic one with him. I was like “who be mugu for here?” Politely told him no and bought the right ticket.
I thought that was all for the drama, only for me to almost get into the wrong bus, being saved from myself by some passengers. I’m sure they knew I was clueless.
Ever Being Stranded in Lagos? Read: Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
Got saved and onto the next bandwagon. Oh the horror, I felt so out of place, I couldn’t understand it, I mean, this is the girl that takes public transport like no man’s business then suddenly she is scared and holding onto her bag looking bright-eyed.
I was like, get a hold of yourself! But, no, the inner voice wouldn’t shut up; “What if they steal your bag?”, “Don’t bring out your phone”, “Don’t look too stiff”, “Don’t look too fidgety”, “Oh my gosh, this is how it must feel in subways, no wonder people are warned about subways”, “Is this appointment really that important”, “Why so stingy? Should have taken Uber”, “What if you miss your bus stop? You can’t shout ‘owa!‘ like before.”
You would love this! How To Live Long In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 5
Don’t get me wrong, my fellow passengers looked like respectable people but the ones that didn’t…didn’t and that was not easy to deal with. I mean in other public transports, if there’s a calamity…say someone going crazy in the bus…you can jump out the window (maybe?) Or go out the trunk, but in this BRT bus, there was no escaping, the bus was high and sealed. Hmm, no wonder it’s easy for Americans to hijack school buses and the likes over there (well, it’s seen in the movies), there’s no escape route.
On getting to Costain, I became somewhat relieved knowing I would soon get to my bus stop, only for the driver to get to Leventis and scream at the few of us left in the bus that Leventis was the last bus-stop.
I swerved, “Wait, what!”
Before I said anything, an old man got up and started ranting at the driver, another passenger who tried to pacify the situation finally begged the driver to explain to the Leventis ticket guy that we didn’t know we got into the wrong bus and he should let us get into another that’d take us to our destination. The bus driver refused, abusing me and the five other passengers.
Tails between our legs, led by the ranting old man, we went to meet the ticket salesperson and explained our situation. Seeing how many we were, he believed us and got us into another bus going to CMS without charging us a ticket fee.
Upon getting to CMS, I swiftly got down, thanked the old man that saved our situation, got into a “safer” public transport, well on my way to the venue. In time.
Anyway, so I watched Otedola’s molue video clip and wondered how he must have been feeling. I noticed he checked his pocket when he got down.
One question though, didn’t passengers recognize him?
Oh, by the way, I survived, got to my appointment on time and got back home safely.
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My BRT experience in Lagos ranks up there with my Okada-on-the-express experience. I will tell you about that sometime. But for now…Ciao.
So, what was your first BRT experience in Lagos like? Tell me about it, will you?
Glossary
Molue – Lagos yellow buses popular in 90’s
BRT – Bus Rapid Transit
Bike – Motorcycle
Boli – roasted plantain
“Feel like a G” – (slang) to be on top of your game
“Who be mugu for here?” – Do I look stupid?
Owa! – (Yoruba) This is my stop!
Okada– Motorcycle
Gabriella Opara is an illustrator of words, drawings and clothes. She blogs at glamogenscribbles.wordpress.com/
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
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How To Live Long In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 5
As a Lagosian, one of the things you might be interested in knowing is how to live long in Lagos. Oh, you didn’t know? There are a thousand ways to die in Lagos, just like in every other metropolitan city in the world. But not to worry, we have compiled a list of all the things you need to know about how to live long in Lagos. Yes, we love you and we care about your life. *wide grin*
P.S: This list has been compiled from responses to a poll on our Facebook community a few weeks ago. Although the poll was centred around what everyone needs to know when living in Lagos or coming to Lagos for the first time, we have developed on them, giving due credit to original responders.
Catch Up On: Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
1. Understand that nobody knows anywhere in Lagos
Lagosians can relate. You find yourself in a location you’re not familiar with and you decide to ask for directions? No, bruh, don’t do it! One guy would ask you to walk down and turn around and when you do, another Mama would tell you that you came the wrong way and ask you to return the way you came. Then someone else would tell you something else till you eventually get tired and die. Okay, just kidding. But if you are not careful, too much walk can kill someone in this Lagos. So, how to ensure Lagosians don’t kill you when you’re visiting anywhere for the first time?
Always get adequate directions before going to any new place- Durosomo Manuel Olanrewaju
It is not always advisable to ask for directions from some Lagosians- Oyindamola Grace Osinnubi
Photo-credit: tenor.com
2. Remember that only God can be trusted
Yes, you heard that, right? When we hear pathetic stories relating to one person or the other in Lagos, we are reminded that you really can’t trust anybody. As you walk on that road, as you board that bike, as you board that bus, keep it at the back of your mind that you owe it to yourself to be extremely on alert. You don’t want to die before your time o, so shine your eyes. Sometimes people look suspicious, other times, they don’t. Whatever or whenever sha-
Suspect everyone. Every one.- Oluseyi Abisoye Mafolabomi
Photo-credit: activememe.com
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3. Know that the tush ones are in anywhere but Lagos
If you have stayed in Lagos long enough, you should know that you have to know when to switch from “Queen’s English Mode” to “Iyalaya E Mode”. Yes, that’s one secret to living long in this Lagos o. If you know you want to be tush, kindly stay outside Lagos (or on the Island sha). As you step out every day, ensure to carry your alter ego along, in case the other is to come in handy. This is Lagos- don’t be tush, don’t be slow. Eh ehn.
Know when to package and know when to scatter…You scatter body to enter bus, you package when you enter finish. You scatter voice to ask for change and you package voice to talk to your bus neighbour. If you mix package and scatter up, you’re on your own. For example, if you package voice to call your bus stop now, my sister, you’re on your way to another bus stop. Amen?- Akindele Oyinlola Dorcas
Keep your accent at home and pick Lagos accent when you land in Lagos- Oluwasanjo Bolaji
GIF credit: GIPHY.com
Ever Being Stranded in Lagos? Read: Being Broke In Lagos | The Lagos Series, Week 3
4. Respect Yourself, Your Future & The Prayers of Your Mother While Dressing Up
Okay. Let us admit. We don’t know exactly how you can do this one but one thing we would ask of you is not to overdress anywhere, especially if you are a guy. Remember the #EndSars campaign that went viral on social media some months ago? It should definitely remind you of how you should be careful about dressing up when you’re going out. We’re not saying you shouldn’t dress up oo, we’re just saying- well, you should know.
Don’t look like a big boy or girl! You will just be attracting trouble ni- Ayomide Ilegbemi
Avoid SARS!- John Jodah Adah
We will stop here today as we will not want to get you scared of ever coming to Lagos if you’re planning to come sometime in the future. Lest we forget, some time ago, Orifunke wrote a post on Four things you should never do in Lagos and we think it might be useful for you.
Enjoyed reading this? We love love love your feedback. Please drop a comment letting us know you were here. Have a contribution to make to the post? Kindly use the comments box!
If you are visiting for the first time, you REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS EPISODES ASAP!!! Luckily for you, we’ve not gone very far yet. Read all previous episodes here: The Lagos Series
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
Like on Facebook: The Lagos Series
FOR PARTNERSHIP or SPONSORSHIP: [email protected]
Lagos Yoruba Demons | The Lagos Series, Week 1
If you’re Nigerian and especially live in Lagos, then the idea of Yoruba demons is not novel to you. I, for one, have had an interesting number of experiences with them.
My freshest memory of one was a dude (in his early thirties) who was working in the same organization as I was and was seriously making passes at me every good day. For the naïve person I was, I was quite fascinated about how or why he wasn’t married yet even though he looked like he had everything he needed to start a family.
Well, I didn’t say yes to him. One, which was the most important, I was in a relationship. And two, I just felt he was too old and unintelligent for me. I endured him for many weeks until he got into some trouble in the company and was fired.
As usual, he was the talk of the company for a while after he left. One beautiful day, a colleague of mine was talking about him and he said, “I don’t know how John will cater for his pregnant wife now.”
I shook. What? Pregnant wife? You mean, John has a wife, a pregnant wife? I found it really hard to believe. I had asked him if he was single and he had affirmed it. I’d also asked him why he was single and he said something about not finding the right person yet.
So this guy that had been making passes at me was married and his wife was pregnant! I was mad. No, really, I was so mad. Not because I cared about him or would have said yes to him but because I couldn’t just think about how he could be so cruel and unfaithful!
Now, this was the most infuriating thing- I called him after to let him know that I knew he was married and how I was disappointed with him. Do you know this guy absolutely denied it? He absofuckinglutely denied it. In fact, he still denies it.
That was one of the Yoruba demon experiences I first had.
Who is a Yoruba Demon?
A “Yoruba demon” is a guy who is a specialist at cheating on his lovers or breaking the hearts of innocent girls. And it is important to note that the term “Yoruba demon” although is mostly made to refer to Yoruba guys who break hearts, any guy of any tribe can be a Yoruba demon, even if he is white.
How to know a “Yoruba Demon”?
To be honest, I don’t know. I have a list of things in my head that I’d advise any lady to be aware of before saying yes to a guy or while dating him. For example, I can’t trust a guy who’s 28 and above not to be married or at least, have someone he’s dating. I’m not saying it’s impossible o but until I am convinced, I don’t believe.
Sometimes there are warning signs which are really obvious unless you’re too blinded by love to see. However, there are demons and there are demons. And some of them have so perfected the art of looking and acting innocent. The only way you can find them out is-
Allow the Holy Spirit lead you ???
Because, to be honest, only God can show you who is who. So before you say yes to a guy who lives in Lagos, has a car, has a house, looks like he’s ready for marriage, better pray in tongues well (If you’re a Christian) so you have enough information about him from the Spirit. ???
P.S: This is from a personal opinion. You might not agree with it.
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The Lagos Series is a project which aims at sharing an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos in both written and visual media.
Have a story to share?
Join the Facebook community here: The Lagos Series Community
Follow us on Instagram: @thelagosseries
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