This post is going to be really personal, very personal. But I am going to pour it all out because, for the first time, it does feel like I can pour out all my emotions without being exactly burdening anybody by talking to them personally. I’ve been feeling really stressed of late. I have even tried to do a few things like I don’t normally do like sleeping early, eating breakfast (started this week), go out. But none of them has worked yet.
The past few weeks have been crazy for me. Really crazy. I’ve had to sleep late, wake up early, skip meals, think even in my dream, cry, attend to people and more. So here’s a list of the things that have stressed me out the most in the past few weeks.
A. Too Many Chats
Early this year, I made a post saying that I wanted to keep in touch with friends more often and truth be told, I have been trying. It just isn’t exactly working out the way I want. I decided to keep in touch more via social media (Whatsapp, especially) since I am almost always online. But you see, I have been too stressed out keeping up with chats. A few days ago, a friend of mine mentioned that I had responded to his message on Whatsapp late (a day after) and I had to explain to him that I actually do not like chatting. Strange, right? It exhausts me having to chat with so many people all at the same time about different topics. Plus, some of the time, I am not even in the right frame of mind to chat and then when I do not reply, someone decides to term me as proud. Chats have stressed me out so much. Many times, the only thing I want to do update statuses and be in my closet. Nothing too draining like responding to chats.
B. The Lagos Series Project
Earlier this month, I started working on a project called “The Lagos Series” (I’d talk about this in a post later) and to be really honest, thinking and planning for it alone has stressed the life out of me. There’s the need to want to put all plans in place and ensure nothing flops. There’s the feeling of knowing it’s not going to flop but not knowing the next steps to take. I’m sick, really. And with the amount of stress I have faced lately, I honestly wonder why I haven’t fallen ill yet. I have only lost a lot of weight. I also have not been able to blog regularly and #FreshGradTales has been lagging because it is a lot of work on its own. I know this one is just because I’m just starting anyway and it would make a lot more sense and be less stressful with time.
Okay. I won’t say I have exactly been broke but the responsibilities have been so overwhelming. Many times, I am grateful that I have a job because, with it, I can feed myself daily, buy stuff I want with my money and not have to depend on anybody (not even my parents for that). But you know that saying about money never being enough, right? Yeah, the more you earn, the more responsibilities come in. And the fact that I have had to handle key things like the school fees of someone close to me monthly (well asides other responsibilities) for the past three months isn’t telling well on me. Sometimes, I want to go crazy. Sometimes I feel like I want to stay away from the world for a whole month. Sometimes I feel like I need a break. Sometimes, I cry. I hate not having money, or rather, not having enough. And I hate asking people for money (even if you’re a family member) so I have to keep thinking of extra ways to get money so I can pay for what I want or need to pay for.
These are all the things that have been stressing me anyhow. Lol. Please, don’t pity me. I honestly do not like being pitied. I know this phase will be over soon but I really am looking forward to when I will eventually get a P.A to help me respond to my numerous messages (Looooooooool. I’m kidding o); when The Lagos Series project would eventually show the success it already is; and when I’ll start earning much more money than my responsibilities.
Just before you leave, kindly like my page on Facebook and follow on IG:
Facebook: The Lagos Series
You could also join the Facebook community I created for my Lagos project here: http://facebook.com/groups/mylagosstory