Four Things You Should Never Do In Lagos
I have been in Lagos all my life. And asides the four years I spent in school, away from Lagos, I pretty much have been in Lagos through and through. So when I write a post on the things you should never do in Lagos, trust that I am not just talking from knowledge but from experience. Lol, don’t mind me, I’m just feeling myself. If you’re a lagosian, you will agree with this. And if you’re a new or aspiring lagosian, you’ll definitely need this.
1. Never ever give strangers audience. Five years ago, I almost got scammed by two unknown guys because I stood to listen to them. Let’s say I was fotunate not to have fallen (evidence of a mother’s strong prayers). I have heard similar stories of people who fell prey and who, at the end of the day, end up losing money or other valuable stuff. So please, when someone you don’t know walks up to you and tries to start a conversation with, walk away or totally ignore. Unless you have mind sha.
2. Never go to thrift markets with all your money in one place,if you have a lot of it with you.
This will particularly come in handy for females who regularly visit the market. Cashless transactions aren’t common in thrift markets so you have to deal with carrying money around. I know someone who would split her money into different places (purse, socks, bra… Lol) before going shopping. So if one part got missing, the others remained intact. Absurd, but could save you tears and worries anytime.
3. When a fight breaks out in a place, leave.
Sometimes my amebo attitude will not permit me to run away. I like to still stand and wonder what could have caused the fight and how it would end. My mom hates this and growing up, the first thing she did when a fight broke out anywhere was to carry her children away from there instantly. Why? You never know. The police could come and arrest everybody and put them in prison whether they’re at fault or not. Or, they could start breaking bottles or shooting each other. ?
4. If you’re in public transport, keep your phones or gadgets unless you’re sure you’re extremely safe. I am usually very careful about using my phone when I’m in a public transport. I can’t deal with the trauma of having my phone snatched or being robbed. If you’re in a personal car, do well to wind up always when driving, especially when in a stand-still traffic.
So, what are the things a person should never do in Lagos that I have not highlighted? Please use the comments box.
Please don’t forget to subscribe and share before leaving. ???
What Is So Wrong With Being A Housewife?
I grew up in a society where being a housewife was totally frowned at by the literates of the society. And that society is the same society where I still live. I have begun to really wonder why being a housewife seems like such a taboo for both men and women alike. Everybody seems to agree on the fact that no woman should consider being a housewife, especially if she’s educated. Why spend so many years going to school when you’re going to sit down for the rest of your marriage in your house doing “nothing”?
While I am not of the opinion that a woman should be stuck in the home after marriage, I still believe doing so is not a bad idea. I have always been an ambitious person and I have never much fancied not having a regular job. But then, I am beginning to have a re-think. While I don’t want to sit down at home absolutely doing nothing, I do not think I am mentally ready for the stress of going to work all day and then coming back to face the stress of the house. Lol, yes I am that lazy. I would prefer a job where I can sit down at home and keep getting the money and still be able to keep an eye on my children.
Okay, this post isn’t about me. What I’m saying is, there is really nothing wrong with being a full housewife. What if a lady thinks she wants to approach being a full-time housewife as a full-time job? Why disagree with her? “Funke, times have changed. We’re no longer in ‘those days'”, you want to protest. And I totally understand. But who says being a housewife isn’t a job anyway? No, it isn’t just a job, it is a life.
Imagine having to pay someone who will wholeheartedly take care of and look after your kids. Or someone who will cook your meals. Or watch after the house. And at the end of the day, function well in “za oda room”. Imagine having to pay for each of them. Well, unless you’re wealthy, paying for these may not be so easy.
What am I saying? There is nothing wrong with being a housewife. A woman should be able to make her own decisions and we should be able to respect that. If a woman decides that with all her degrees, she wants to stay at home and be a housewife, leave her be. It doesn’t make her irrelevant or less important than other “career women”.
So here’s for all the full housewives out there who are receiving little or no recognition for their jobs well done. You all are doing an amazing job and I celebrate you for it. For all I know, housewives are pretty much as relevant to our society as much as every other career woman. They shouldn’t be looked down on or seen as “unambitious” or weak.
Or, what do you think?
Six Reasons Why Jumoke Adenowo Is My #WCW (Reading This Would Make You Love Her Too)
I stumbled on a video on YouTube where Jumoke Adenowo was interviewed. It was in the #KingWomen series of Kemi Adetiba. Prior to this time, I had never seen Jumoke Adenowo in any video before, never heard her talk before and I knew almost nothing about her. I only knew she was an architect who is pretty much good at what she does and that was about all I knew about her. (She runs AD studio; AD consulting firm, a firm she founded in 1994).
I half-mindedly used to wonder why she was usually invited to speak at events pertaining to women and all. However, watching and listening to her speak for more than thirty minutes, I instantly fell in love with her. Watching her interview, I gained insight into her growing up, her educational background, some of her views about life and her principles. Needless to say, listening to her made me have a great deal of respect for her. So here are just six of the reasons why I am getting to love and respect her all the more:
1. Jumoke Adenowo is a woman who loves to dream big. She comes off as a lady who doesn’t settle down with mediocrity. She doesn’t allow society’s opinions affect her way of thinking and her goals. And she doesn’t support you being side-lined or not doing anything great because you’re a female.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
2. Another reason why I am crushing on her is because she is one person who respects herself. Listening to her would just make you have an increase in your self-esteem. She is this person who doesn’t settle down for less than who she is. And she really doesn’t take nonsense from people.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
3. Jumoke Adenowo is an intelligent woman! And intelligence is a turn on for me anyday anytime. When you hear her speak, you know this isn’t someone who doesn’t know what she’s saying. She does. And I should attribute this partially to the fact that she grew up reading books and travelling round the world with her dad. You listen to her and you just know she has so much upstairs to give and to impart.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
4. She is also a big risk-taker! Thinking about how she started her business, I’m not sure I would be able to take such a risk. But yeah, life is all about risks.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
5. I love how she has been able to love and build her family and imbibe in her children a sense of her origin culture.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
6. And this is the biggest of everything. I love how much she is a lover of God and of the things of God. And my dear woman is giving to the service of others. Don’t even ask me how I know all this. But it’s true. Jumoke Adenowo lets you know that it is much possible to love God, do His work and still excel in other parts of your life.
Photo-credit: @JumokeAdenowo on twitter
In the future, I look forward to getting to speak with this amazing woman. And I am sure the “future” isn’t very far from now.
Physical Disabilities Can Be Defeated And This Woman’s Inspiring Story Will Show You How.
Reading through this young woman’s story for the first time, I was both thrilled and intrigued. Her story sent a number of emotions through me. I was awed by how much and how well she was able to handle her son’s physical disability and turn it into an advantage and a strength. As someone who has a brother who is struggling with another type of physical disability, I can quite relate. Her story encapsulates the genesis of the problem, the journey through the years, the struggles she has had to face and the eventual victories. Her name is Anne Bessong and you will enjoy this story and be inspired by it down to the very end.
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I got married in December 1994 and on January 3, 1996, our first baby was born. At birth, David was just like any other baby until he cried or smiled. Then his whole face shifted to one side and the contorted sight wasn’t nice, to say the least. That was how our journey into the world of physical human disorders started. The doctors called it partial facial palsy, asked us to observe him till he was over 9 months old and we started getting referrals to go to different places.
After he turned two, I got fed up & stopped taking him to the Children’s Hospital. I just ensured he exercised his facial muscles by chewing on all the recommended stuff we had been told to use.
Just before he turned three, we travelled to America where a doctor commended David for being well-behaved and handed him a lollipop. David accepted it, smiled and said “thank you” & the problem started! The doctor began to ask several questions as she wrote down everything. Next thing, she brought out her pager, sent a message and some other doctors rushed in. We kept a few appointments before we returned home to Nigeria and he continued with his schooling. Needless to say that every time he cried or smiled, he was made the butt of jokes and jeered at because his face got contorted as it shifted to one side.
At age 5, David began to ask questions about people’s reactions to his laughter or cry. I got tired of telling him not to mind them, got tired of making excuses for their insensitive behaviour, got tired of buying him toys to take his attention away from it all. I quit my Media/PR job and had to become a full-time teacher so as to be closer to him. (I grappled with the financial step-down for a while).
Fortunately, he is very brilliant and so each time he got laughed at and came to me, I’d bring out a mirror and ask him to smile at it. I’d then ask him what happened. He would reply that his face moved. I’ll ask him to look at the mirror without smiling. He would say his face was okay. Then I would smile at him and tell him in a firm voice that his problem was outward and so temporary. I would also encourage him that it would have been a big problem if an internal organ that we couldn’t see was affected. I encouraged him to be the best at everything and after some years, he believed that the problem with his face wasn’t as bad as his peers with woeful results since that meant they had a problem with their brains!
And that was how my son went through primary and secondary school. People still made fun of him, laughed at him when he laughed instead of laughing at the joke he was laughing at. But I had groomed him to develop a thick skin and instead pity their lack of knowledge. He even went a step ahead each time he introduced himself and always added that he was born with partial facial palsy which made his face shift to one side when he smiled or laughed (remembering to add that it wasn’t contagious). Against all odds, I groomed David and his brother (who I had after him) to be complete gentlemen, God-fearing, well-behaved, focused, respectful and helpful.
In December 2015, at the age of 19, my son graduated with a First Class in Network & Telecommunications Engineering from Universitie Africaine Du Management Et Du Technologie in the Republic of Benin! He was posted Bayelsa State for his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC)! I talked about it with him and my young hot-cake First-Class engineer was excited and expectant about going to serve in Bayelsa. Even at the Orientation Camp, he was nominated the Social Leader of his platoon!
Today, I can claim without sounding boastful that I’m one of the best teachers there is! My pain led me to a profession I’ll never give up for anything. Today, I encourage other mothers and help them see that indeed there is light at the end of the tunnel. Today, I can say with even more pride that I have a son who conquered stigmatization to become the best in his chosen field of study. He has since completed his NYSC and is leading a normal life like any young man his age.
To mums out there with children facing challenges, let David’s story encourage you. Focus on the good in that seemingly bad situation and work on it like raw gold in the refiner’s furnace. The journey may not be easy, but the outcome is sure worth the effort! His face still shifts to one side but years of exercise has reduced it a tiny winy bit and we’re grateful for that little improvement!
Mrs Anne Bessong, David and her husband.
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Thank you for reading. Do you have a story you would love to be published on my website? Send a mail to [email protected]
Missed The Social Good Summit 2017? Catch Up On The Event Here!
Yesterday, 28th September, 2017, I was privileged to attend the Social Good Summit summit. Since it had been a while I attended an event as this, it was a great pleasure for me to be there. The Social Good Summit is an initiative of the United Nations (UN) aimed at using social media to attain the sustainable development goals. And my friend, Abraham Ologundudu (@iamoabraham on twitter) convened the event!
Present at the summit were Victoria Ibiwoye, a recent Law graduate and founder of the One African Child Foundation, and Dayo Samuel, a podcast guru whose podcasts have been downloaded over 20,000 times across the globe. Each of them shared relatable experiences and practical ways through which the new media has helped them both in their individual careers.
I enjoyed being at the summit because I got to see that the social media is more important than I possibly ever thought in ways deeper than ever. For more details on what was said at the event, follow @bramodigi on twitter and read through their timeline. Check out pictures from the event below:
L-R Victoria Ibiwoye, Abraham Ologundudu and Dayo Samuel
The team on ground for the summit
I already met Dayo on twitter a couple of years back. Meeting him in real life was a dream come true for me.
Meet Abraham Ologundudu, the convener of the Social Good Summit 2017
L-R Leke Ademo, Me, Oyindamola Laurina and Abraham Ologundudu
In less than four hours, I had made a few acquaintances.
Yours truly. ???
Three Things You Should Know Before You Loan Out Money
Hello hello! Gooood to see you here! Thanks for coming around. This topic is one I have been thinking of writing about since last month and I’m glad I’ve finally come around doing it. So you see, I have gist for you guys.
Yesterday, on Facebook, I wrote a post about how I lent someone a large amount of money some weeks back and the adverse effects that had on me. “Adverse effects” because he refused to pay back and to make matters worse, he wasn’t picking my calls for days till his line was finally switched off.
This period, as I explained in my post, was very traumatic for me. It was a substantial amount and it left me broke and almost totally unable to cater for my basic needs. Let’s not talk about the number of nights and days I cried and the amount of weight I lost. It was a terrible experience for me.
During that period, I learnt one of the most vital lessons about money. And I swore to never fall into that trap again. Although I promised myself not to loan out money again, I soon found out that this may not be entirely possible.
So, in order to avoid stories that touch when next you want to lend someone some money (if you do ever want to), ask yourself the following questions:
1. Can I do without this money?
When lending money, it is much important to consider if the money is something you can do without. As wisely and usually noted, don’t lend any money you can’t give. Put different factors into consideration. What if something happens and you can’t get your money back? Would you be able to continue living? Or would you fall into a stance of depression? If I had asked myself this question and sincerely answered, I definitely wouldn’t have given out that money. Your answer would tell you if you should lend that money or not.
2. Does he/she have a sure means of returning the money?
This might sound awkward but is paramount. If you’re looking at getting your money back within a specific time-frame, you may want to know how the borrower intends to get the money to pay you back. Do they earn a salary or are they expecting money from someone else? Ask them. Find out. What if they don’t have a means of paying back and would start telling stories when it’s time to pay? Definitely something you should avoid.
3. Do you know a close relative or friend of the person?
Lending money to someone whose personal family members or friends you don’t know could be dangerous. Consider the fact that the person could refuse to pay as promised or could even disappear like mine did. So if the person does, you have someone who could at least help with their whereabouts. Of course, it doesn’t guarantee that you will get your money back but it’ll increase your chances.
All in all, the best advice is for you not to lend money that you really cannot do without. What else did I miss out on? Please drop your comments ☺️
A List of Some of the Biggest Mistakes I’ve Ever Made
For a while now, I’ve been considering a lot of my plans, commitments, goals and ideas. And I must confess that, usually, I am awed by how gigantic my dreams are. Let me tell you something about me: I am one person who dreams a lot. I sit down or walk the road daily thinking about the big dreams I have. Trust me, I have massive ideas almost all the time. Only thing, though, is you’d rarely get to hear me talk about them. I personally prefer to do first before talking about it.
Sometimes, I talk to myself, consider the goals I have had and why they didn’t materialize. I do like to be open and sincere with myself even though it’s easier to shy away from the thoughts of pain that accompany every failed step I have taken.
Since I really am free to sharing my mistakes with you, I am writing this. Hopefully, you can read through and relate well and yes, also be inspired.
So here are some of the biggest mistakes I have ever made:
1. Being afraid of failing.
In the past, I did have a fear of failing. I basically had to always ask myself “What if it doesn’t come through as planned? What would people say? What would I look like?” and all other questions like that. Somehow, being in that comfort zone of not having to bother about failing feels good. Looking back now, I wish I had taken many steps I desired in the past without a fear of failing. I have come to realize that those who are scared of failing really do not go far in life. This is because being scared of failing means being scared of following your dreams and goals and ideas.
2. Not acting upon my ideas
Until much recently, I was more of a dreamer than a doer. I would sit and dream and plan and never really get around to doing. This would happen until I eventually forgot about the goal or till I got demotivated and had to move over to something else. However, I had to consciously make myself understand that if I had a plan or an idea, I had to actively work on it. In 2015, I had this idea of doing an improvement challenge for twenty-one days and involve other people as well. I sat and planned and at the point I discovered I was doing much planning than doing, I instantly set out to start. The project came out great and the number of people who joined in amazed me. The same thing happened a few months back when I had the idea of a ladies’ spiritual meeting back in the university. I have quite recovered from this mistake and still recovering too. Learn not to only dream but to also act on your dreams.
3. Waiting to have everything perfect and in place before starting out.
This has to be the biggest hindrance to me doing most of the things I really have wanted to do. I like things being all in place before launching out on anything. I’ve learnt, though, that to achieve results, you must drop that feeling of wanting to have everything in place and all perfect. Everything won’t be perfect at any point anyway so why not do what you want to do?
4. Thinking too much about what others would think or say or feel. Yes, I’m one of those people who care about opinions. And I do regret how much achievement this has caused me in the past. I have learnt that people really don’t care about what you achieve and if they do, you can do without their opinions. Too many people hold back on a big deal they should be doing or landing because they’re pretty much bothered about what other people will say. I guess this is due to the fear of disapproval. Well, I’ve learnt it’s my life and nobody’s opinion should rank better than mine.
I’m grateful for the mistakes I’ve made because they’ve taught me how better things could be done. And well, I really am still learning from a host of other mistakes. What are the biggest mistakes you have made? Can you share them with me?
4 Simple Ways To Engage With Friends On Your Personal Facebook List
Much recently, I began to get more interested in studying and tracking my Facebook posts on my personal account. Sometimes I have posts that get many reactions and other times, I get less reactions than expected. This may not be a widely-given rule. However, if you’re looking at creating content and selling your brand on your Facebook account, this would be helpful. So here’s it- how to engage better with your personal posts on Facebook.
1. Use well-edited pictures
People relate a lot more with well-edited and carefully-taken pictures. Imagine that feeling you have when you see a blurred image? Yes, other people have it too. You don’t necessarily need to be a spectacular photographer. It doesn’t always matter if you’re very beautiful or handsome. A picture with a good camera with just the right filter and an exposure to sufficient light would come out just fine. You should remember this when you’re thinking about the next image or picture to upload.
2. Use images in your post
People react to posts that include. images more than posts without that do not. If you ask me, I’ll say images help your posts stand out. It’s easier for one to scroll past a plain post that one which has an inviting picture. These days, I am adding pictures more to my personal posts and I am getting more reactions. I know this because I’ve studied that. However, as much as you can, ensure that whatever picture you’re adding to your post reflects the message. You don’t want to put up a picture that speaks a very different language from what you’re trying to pass across. Else, people will focus more on the picture and forget the message. You get?
3. Tell a story
People react to stories massively. Recently, I figured people love gists. People want to read stories. If it’s a story, people are definitely interested. It could be a funny story, a touching story or whatever kind of story. As long as it’s a story, it definitely sells. If you sell products or services, you must learn to tell stories effectively. I think you have a double advantage if the post is funny. So when next you want to upload that picture, ensure to engage people by telling a story. Don’t just “post and leave”. (Tip: People love being entertained)
4. Reply and react to necessary comments on your posts
Have you visited a blog that had awesome content, were moved to drop a comment only for you to notice that comments from other readers went unreplied? I have seen that times without number and it turns me off instantly. Unreplied comments communicate that you don’t appreciate them. And truth be told, it’s the same with Facebook comments. If someone drops a valuable comment on your post and doesn’t get a reply from you, such person might refrain from dropping a comment on your posts next time. Replying to comments on your post provides a good ground to engage with people who have same interests as you. Don’t forget to react to comments appropriately too. That surely goes a long way.
So, have you studied your Facebook audience personally before? What were your findings? Let’s talk in the comments box. Did this list help you? Do let me know. ☺️
Questions You Should Ask Before Starting Your Business.
Everyday, I observe business people and deeply appreciate the fact that people engage in a legitimate means of survival. I am usually fascinated by how far people can go to ensure they earn a living. At times, I come across people who sell stuff that I most likely would never have anything to do with. And I find myself wondering why exactly these people have chosen to sell these things. Is it that they just love the items they’re selling? Or is it that they don’t want to enter a competitive market by selling what everyone else is? Or is it that the desire to make money just exceeds the need to consider the market well? I just may never know.
I believe everybody who wants to start up a business or who is looking at providing services should ask themselves vital questions like:
-Who will buy what I want to sell? Business isn’t just about selling what you like to sell or selling what you think will sell. It is selling what people will buy. And I know you’ve heard that you shouldn’t go into business for the money but trust me, nobody wants to be in a business that’s gulping down all their costs and giving them close to nothing in return, unless it’s a charity organization.
-Where are the people who want to buy what I want to sell? If you’ve sat down and considered the above, then you should make the effort to know where your buyers are. Are they on a street? Are they in a big market? Oh, are they online? Find these out. This would help you in getting to know how to get your market to your consumers. It is also vital to know that something that sells well in Abuja may not sell in Lagos.
-How do I get my market to people who will buy it? Now that you know who will buy your products and where they can be found, how can I get it to them? If they’re online, you definitely would have to invest your resources into social media marketing. If they’re offline, you should develop a plan to either be located close to them or make arrangements to make it available to them if you can’t be physically close to them.
Of course, building and establishing a business definitely requires more than this on a larger scale but for starters, I believe this would help.
What other questions should every business person ask before launching out? Please comment below.
“In My 400Level, I Regretted Being Too Serious With My Academics”- Imisioluwa #FreshGradTales
Hey there!!! Welcome to another episode of #FreshGradTales. If you’re visiting for the first time, FreshGradTales is a series of interviews with fresh graduates from universities across Nigeria. Today, I have the pleasure of sharing one of the thrilling interviews with fresh graduates that I have had. I enjoyed every bit of it! He is Owonikoko Lekan Joseph (Imisioluwa), a fresh graduate from the department of Music, Obafemi Awolowo University. Enjoy the interview as much as I enjoyed it. ?
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Why did you come to OAU?
First, interestingly, was because OAU went on strike regularly and that was going to work very well for me. I was going to need all the time to be able to do so many other things while in school and OAU was just perfect. Second reason why I came to OAU was because I was changing from the Sciences to do Music so I needed a school that could accommodate my O’levels. Then I wanted OAU because I was hoping I could be influenced with indigenous African Music. I really wanted to do African music.
Where did the love for music start from? What influenced it?
I believe every individual is wired in certain ways. I didn’t choose it (Music), I found out that I was just in love with it. I was particularly in love with how music affects the mind- the interactions between people and music and I saw it as a tool to influence people. I’ve always been around music but I didn’t always want to study Music because I didn’t think it was necessary.
Could you explain what your journey in OAU was like?
After my final exam, someone asked me how it felt to be a graduate. The first thing I said was that I felt cheated. I think Nigeria’s version of western education is highly overrated. The problem is not with education but the way we have been doing it overtime. So my journey in OAU has really not been too interesting in terms of the academics. I think I lost interest in the entire school thing after my first semester, part one. I realized that the school was not preparing me for what I wanted to be but for what my lecturers thought I should be. In my 400L, I regetted being too serious with my academics. It wasn’t until 300L that I began to do some other important things.
What were the “other important things” you started doing in 300L?
They were still part of music but were not core academic music. In 300L, I started an NGO- Music for Development- and the goal was to use music as a tool for social change. In 2015, we had our independence month which was to preach a message of responsibility to the youths to stop asking the system to necessarily change before we change. The next year, we did the Girl-Child Concert which was also in October and that was to advocate against rape, violence and harassment.
What were the challenges you faced?
The fact that the university is not equipped for what we are learning. Our lecturers also know that something is wrong with the system but they say there’s nothing they can do.
Any mistakes or regrets?
I didn’t do politics earlier. I contested for presidency in my part 3 but I stepped down. Looking back now, I should just have continued. A lot of people have not forgiven me for that.
So, what next?
For me, what next is not what next but a continuation of what has always been. I’ve always been an advocate of “If you are still waiting to graduate then you are late already” so there are a lot of things that I have been test-running. I’ll launch out now but it’s still around music. It’s time to solidify my NGO. I really want to be a music business entrepreneur.
Any words for students?
Understand who you are. Know that the world has changed and is changing rapidly. The system that held the former generation nay not necessarily work for us. We must open ourselves up to the possibilities of this generation because our children will take no excuses. If you need to read your books, read. Know who you are, know where you’re going and be bold enough to take steps to get there.
Thank you very much, Mr Imisioluwa. I have had a pleasant time speaking with you.
I’m very honoured. Thank you.
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FreshGradTales is a series of interviews for fresh graduates from ALL universities in Nigeria. If you are a fresh university graduate and would love to share your stories and experiences, get in touch via WhatsApp (08184908965) or send a mail to [email protected]
